Post-loss: How to Support Your Loved One

Here’s a few things I’ve learned in the first week I’ve been home from the hospital.  Please ask your loved one before doing anything for them.  Never assume.  Ask via text, it’s the easiest way for your loved one to respond.

Things that have helped me:
  • A close, trusted friend to keep the pics of my angel, create a shared folder that will only be seen on parent’s phone, add pics as parent asks for them; same friend (if savvy enough) or someone the friend finds who is creates a video montage of pics, videos, music of Angel baby’s journey conception to flight (all content suggested by parents); parents requested songs burned to cd/cloud/etc
  • Offer food/errand service/laundry just like you would do if there was a newborn at home, allow the parent to designate a drop off spot (porch, garage, etc).  The parent may not be ready to see you and yet will be extremely grateful for the physical support
  • Offer to take other children on play dates
  • Offer to clean house or hire cleaning service (could be scheduled during parent’s dr appts)
  • Understand your calls, vm’s, texts, emails, fb posts/comments/messages will be read/listened to and may not be acknowledged, do it anyway
  • Run “interference” at home: before parents come home, remove any baby items (ask first)
  • In person: Only bring up the angel if the parent does, if you ask how they’re doing they will tell you if they can or they may give you a canned “ok, good, fine” (they probably aren’t and yet that’s the easiest thing to say)
  • Clean up browser history on all devices and Amazon (to avoid triggers)
  • Mail them cards
  • Grocery store/Amazon gift cards are great gifts
Thank you for supporting your loved one(s) in the way they can best receive it.  I know I have.
Angel Parents: Please leave a comment with anything else you found helpful or would’ve been helpful to you.
Love/Peace/Prayers – Misti

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